Thursday, August 27, 2009

It's BACON!!!

I like things that make me fat. We all do right? And today it seemed I was bombarded with everything bacon related....which is fine cause, well, I love bacon!

First off came something from the wonderful people at In which patrons of the site sent in structures made out of ... MEAT!! Like this little number, the meat tank!

As you can see, using various ground meat for the base and turret, the meat tank is heavily fortified with crispy bacon. A six inch bratwurst completes the meat tank with a formidable turret gun.

I never really thought of using bacon as armor plating, but I'm not really an engineer so...
On to another military item, the BA-K47!
This fully automatic rifle made ENTIRELY of bacon has extremely good mechanical motion while firing. That's probably due to the lack of requirement for gun oil, as the bacon grease keeps all its bacony parts in free fluid motion.
But people don't like war (even if it's delicious) and so I bring to you a bit of old world culture. Behold the amazing man-made wonder, the mysterious arches of "Bacon Wrapped Stone Henge".

Many wonder, why did they transport the building materials so far away to England? Who built it, and why? I will answer these questions for you now:

Cause British food sux...
someone awesome....
and who cares let's eat!!
Apart from bacon I also like to keep up on news from my favorite companies, such as Oakley. Today they came out with a press release for a new style of sunglass....for DQM (Dave's Quality Meats, you see where I'm going with this)....called the "Bacon Frogskin". Here they are.

I really don't have anything to say for this. It's beyond my usual threshold for rediculousness.

Lastly a wonderful announcement. My fellow Portlanders, on October the 3rd in the year of our Lord 2009, in partnership with several different breweries and stuff, we have the 1st annual Portland BACONFEST!!! Oh yes, everything that is bacon will be there and so will you....unless you have high cholesterol then you probably couldn't get within shouting distance. The fumes alone from this festival will clog your arteries and make you gain 14lbs. Myself, by nature of writing about it, have already sustained 2 minor strokes.

It's going to be a grand event, see you all there!

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