When I was a boy, just a strange enchanted boy, I saw many a cartoon. These cartoons typically were of an action variety and offset their violence by offering helpful moral tips after each show which later in life I found to be hilarious. They just keep on giving. My favorites growing up were He-Man, Transformers, GI Joe, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and with the exception of the last two all of them have made horrible ventures into the live action moive world.
Recently I saw the 2nd attempt at making a live action Transformers flick and it got me thinking. I understand why they want to do it, both from a financial and fan standpoint, but some things should just be left alone and preserved in the form for which it was made famous.
This mainly goes for cartoons, because you can't really duplicate what a cartoon can do with live action....yet. Lord knows they try. Michael Bay, for all the shit he's made and plot he's neglected, is doing his part to make it look like robots can really fight alongside real people. It was some of the most amazing effects I've seen in any movie...ever! But that's not enough, you also need a crucial part of any cartoon, characters. People forget that the stars of Transformers are....the TRANSFORMERS!! Shia LeBeef (or whatever) and Megan "such a" Fox are great and all but they have NOTHING to do with the real Transformers and I'd much rather see the character developement of Starscream, Megatron, Soundwave, BumbleBee, and (praying on my knees) the Dinobots! Basically a more advanced cartroon with a small side of real people.
Enough of Transformers for a bit. Now this may be a bit premature, but the GI Joe film set to come out fairly soon, looks like a joke. The trailer shows all our favorite characters: General Hawk, the Baroness, Duke, Scarlet, and of course SNAKE EYES!!! It's got cool military planes, cars, boats, subs, and .... super suits? WTF?! GI Joe don't need no damn super suit! I would much rather have 5 to 10 characters from GI Joe and Cobra duke it out Ramb style than have them doing flips off of planes in a $%@#ing super suit! The only saving grace as far as I, or anyone else for that matter, can see is...SNAKE EYES!!! Lemme say that again....SNAKE EYES!!! Ah, that will be sweet.
Going back to my original point, SNAKE EYES!!! aside, the movie can't hold on one character alone, no matter how crazy, ridiculous, Godly awesome he is. So although I haven't included it yet into the pantheon of cartoons-turned-films-that-suck, as the ghost of Christmas present once said, "if these shadows remain unchanged" then I see fans of GI Joe wailing and gnashing their teeth...or something.